Beautiful Ugly

a drink

Are you drawn to pretty drinks or scary ones with weird combos of ingredients?
Do you tend toward easygoing or challenging spirits?
Do you judge others for choosing easy/simple?

These are real questions. I already know what I think – I live with me. I’ll lay my cards down lest anyone think I sit here on a high throne of self-importance.

My answers: 4 yes’s and a yes/no.

No throne. I sit on the floor wondering where everyone got chairs because I didn’t see any chairs. Besides, from the floor I can see the bottoms of people’s shoes & they’re very dirty. Eww.

If that metaphor made no sense, I’ll put it this way. I’m a die-hard brown spirits fan. I’ve been drinking Scotch since 1792. I only offer that late date because I don’t want to be trendy. I’d say I drank rye before that but *scoff* rye is newfangled for an American spirit! Robert Laird’s great-grandpappy learned to distill applejack from a recipe I tattooed on my own shoulder with a rooster feather while escaping the precursor to phylloxera in the 1600s. That’s the true origin of the term “cocktail.” Not sure how Mr. Wondrich missed that one in the archives — sheesh!

I may have just lost my license to practice history in any state that teaches evolution, but now that I’ve clearly established my Serious Drinks Person bona fides I’ll say I also enjoy gin sours with flower garnishes. They taste good. And pastel ones sure are prettty. I do still expect to smell or eat whatever is in a drink though. So as lovely as a big-ass Floribunda rose is, it’s jarring to see in a cocktail pic when it has no aroma. As I’ve grumbled before, a baby or puppy garnish would be just as functional.

So I’m judgey. I don’t especially like certain colors of clothes, much dance music, or beige cars. Bleh. But I’m not going to judge YOU for all that. You may be a wonderful person. You’ve likely got a better set of financial priorities than I do. Because clearly a beige car must’ve been deeply discounted. I mean, why else!? It’s like drinking flavored gin. Or spiced rum. Or chill filtered whisky. Serious Drinks Persons don’t do those things.*

… Right?

*I’ve done them all. With a diet cola back and a side of truffle fries. For which I do not repent.